Why asking a contact for help benefits you both

When it comes to professional networking, common misconceptions about business etiquette can stymie our ability to build relationships. Often, these stem from our own fears and instincts. Problem is, those instincts might be dead wrong. Here’s why you should go ahead and ask for a favor.

1. You’ll make people like you 
Sure, it’s best to project confidence when you interact with members of your network, but that doesn’t mean asking for help or advice makes you seem just the opposite. On the contrary, says a recent New York Magazine blog post:

Across five studies, a research team led by Harvard Business School’s Alison Wood Brooks has found that, in fact, people think better of others who ask for advice—mostly because people really love to give it. Being consulted seems to confer a self-confidence boost, and that in turn positively colors our opinion of the advice-seeker. Seeking advice also seems to strengthen your image within your network, which is of course critical to building relationships.

“Across five studies people are shown to think better of others who ask for advice.”

2. You’ll improve perceptions of the human race
Trepidation certainly isn’t the only misconception holding us back from reaching out. As a post on Inc.com points out, often, we simply assume people won’t want to help us. A Stanford study confirmed that, as we are afraid to seek advice for fear of looking foolish, we’re also reluctant to ask for favors for fear of being burdensome. Which means that there’s a good chance we’re not asking for enough, and not often enough.

“When people were approached more than once, the second favor was usually granted, even if the first was rejected.”

3. You’ll get a yes eventually
Further, we may well take a single rejection as a sign to stop asking for favors from anyone. And that’s a shame, because the study concluded that when people were approached more than once, the second favor was usually granted, even if the first was rejected. And while that is reassuring, what it means is you have to be sure to ask for that initial favor, because it’s that one that establishes the link and creates the opportunity down the line.

Published in collaboration with The RealSci Blog

Author: Peter Yacovacci is a New York-based writer.

Image: A silhouette of two people holding interlinking cogs is shown before a clear blue sky. REUTERS