Why successful leaders have difficult discussions

I remember 5 or 6 years ago sitting down with our lead trainer, Peter, to talk about my expectations for a leadership development program we would be running with all of our frontline managers. There was 1 thing I desperately wanted them to learn and it was this…that great leaders, that the best leaders, regularly find themselves having difficult discussions.

While it may sound counter intuitive I honestly have never come across a great leader who avoids the difficult discussion. When you sign up to be a leader or a manager of people, you now take on a level of responsibility which regularly puts you in a position where you need to address issues, problems, frustrations, challenges, difficult people, hard choices, and many other hurdles. If you are a leader or a manager, and you are never having difficult discussions, it’s because you’re avoiding them.

Twice in my career as a manager I’ve had to address complaints about individuals with poor body odor which was disrupting other team members.

A handful of times I’ve told someone they are no longer employed with this company.

Dozens of times I’ve needed to address under performance or bad behavior or disruptive individuals

Hundreds of times I’ve had performance reviews which include the good and the bad

Thousands of times I’ve wondered how I’m going to deal with this situation or that situation or this disruptive individual, or the boss who I need something from, or the team dynamic which isn’t working, or how to structure a team, solve a complex problem, or ensure the customer’s frustration is addressed, etc.

And countless times I’ve not won the argument or I’ve had to compromise or implement something that wasn’t my preference.

None of these could be addressed properly and achieve the ideal outcome if I was unwilling to have a difficult discussion. Great leaders don’t run from challenges and they don’t avoid them. They confront them head on in a constructive way, they put themselves in that often difficult, uncomfortable, and vulnerable position. They see the greater good which can come if they deal with the short term pain. Often when we shy away from the difficult discussion it leads to worse problems down the road.

If you’re a leader or manager or aspire to be one, don’t get in the habit of burying your head in the sand or avoiding the situation because you don’t want to face it. There are many things we don’t want to do, but we must do. Look for the upside and see the benefit that will be achieved if you have that difficult discussion, because it’s almost always greater. I promise you it’s worth it!

Published in collaboration with Linked In.

Author: Alan Bronowicz is the Global Business Process Lead at Thomson Reuters.

Image: A Japanese new graduate speaks with a counsellor inside a compartment at Tokyo Metropolitan Government Labor Consultation Center in Tokyo in this April 8, 2010 file photo. REUTERS.